East Palestine

Clown world goes gonzo II - bio-toxic rhetorical zone, reader beware

Brandon: Bootie, Bootie, where are you!

Herr Bottiegag: Right here sir!

Brandon: Bootie, we need another distraction. Geez let me down. Not enough god damn dergabalz. Yer in charge of Transportation. Muck up the works dammit!

Herr Bottiegag: Sir, we did that before you shot down the spy balloon.

Brandon: Did what, sissy boy?! Talk sense! Get that damn pillow out of your face.

Herr Bottiegag: At McKinsey sir we prided ourselves in anticipating our client’s needs. We mastered the art of narrative management. We thought “East Palestine” suited the nature of the job, perfectly.

Brandon: Lookee here, a blonde and a raven! Hey, come here, let yer uncle Brandon sniff yer goldilocks.

Sandbaggerson Stooper: To “castro” is to steal puppies from the Amish! Ha Ha, see what I did there, made a racist slur and a trigger and hook. Na na na na, CIA’s better than McKinsey. Na na na na, CNN and CIA sitting in a tree, poop on bootie and McKinsey! HA HA HA HA!

Brandon: Poop, yer dumber than boottie.

Herr Bottiegag: They may have avoided the Phizer/Moderna but they can’t escape aerosolized vinyl chloride.

Brandon: Wipe those feathers off your face, man! What the hell are you saying Bootie?

Herr Boottiegag: Poison the natives sir. You said you wanted a distraction. It’s the easiest, oldest trick in the book.

Pooper: Castro! Putin! Castro! Trump! Divide and conquer! Poop!

Brandon: Poop, shut up, go over there, kneel down and put your face in that pillow.

Herr Bootiegag: See, with the Palestine reference we trigger the right to reflexively hate them but then the cognitive dissonance of the atrocity against their own kind will disable them psychologically. Your base will instinctively want to support the locals but then their Maga status will elicit furious hatred and the cognitive dissonance will make your base even more effective ideologues, in the fifth generation psyop, sir.

Stooper: Castro! Poop! Trump! Russia! Poo-oo-oo-ooo

Brandon: Bootie, what the hell do I need Geez for! But then, he’s so small, like you guys, geez, cuddly cute like a slanty pooh bear.

Herr Bootiegag: The key is you have to act like nothing important is happening. It isn’t worth your attention. Let them stew in it, eventually the sense of hopelessness will break them. Keep to the regular talking points.

Brandon: Equity, I know. Equity, diversity, trans…Bottie, put that dress on. Over there. Let me get a look at you.

Stooper: Castro! Zelensky! Puu uu uu tin! Tru uu ump!

Herr Bootiegag: As I said sir, it is imperative that you send the message to your base that America is the third world and they should come to expect sacrifice zones like white bread and margarine East Palestine. You can’t lose the election anyway, so chaos is the rule. Break them and then Daddy Schlaub will take it from there.

Brandon: God I love the Catholic school girl look.

Brandon: Shut yer pie hole, Pooper

Stooper: Geez, Pu uu utin! Truuuuuuuump!

Brandon: Genius though, really, Bootie. Tell me more.

Herrr Bootiegag: You can’t send FEMA to East Palestine. It is not an emergency. Most of the dead won’t be dead until you are dead, so it is imperative you act like this is just another day in America. Just like with Covid jabs, you cannot acknowledge died suddenly. Repeat after me, Climate Change. East Palestine is safe and effective. Balloons, UFO’s, it doesn’t matter. It’s all disinformation, all the time, everywhere, from now on, sir.

Brandon: No problem buddy. No problem at all. Now come on over here and let me give you another hug, I can pretend like you are my new geez slanty pooh bear in a catholic school girl dress, if you can.