1787 Project - The Founders Were All Black Women

Newz you can afford to lose

From the AssAssicated Press, for immediate release:

The New York Times is recording history again, with the release of a full Sunday addition on N’HiJole’ aXtu-Grynd’s 1787 Project.

New research has come to light proving without any doubt, America’s founders were all, every last one of them, black women.

“There really cannot and will not be any doubt from this moment on,” said Ms N’HiJole’ aXtu-Grynd, “The founders were righteous sista’z, powerful black women. The first president was Georgia Washington.”

A journalist who has since disappeared and shall not be named asked, “but, what about slavery? Weren’t black people….”

Ms N’HiJole aXtu-Grynd can't believe she has to lower herself to the level of having to answer such a pathetically ridiculous question. “Everybody knows it was white people in chains. In the 1860’s there was a civil war, black people were cast down from power, supplanted by whites. The 1787 project is about making that right.”

Civil war-era imperial troops, unsuccessfully defending Sistaz Washington from a white insurrection

A different, disappeared, nameless, impertinent fake news character asked, “So then, was it black people who tried to exterminate the red man?”

“Stupid children,” said Ms N’HiJole’ aXtu-Grynd, “the savages were so in awe of the Sistaz, they gave the land to those righteous black women. The Sistaz let the savages work the land, there wasn’t any problem until white people insurrectioned in 1865.”

Some random black man on the street, who would not offer his name or show his face, said, when asked about the 1787 project: “A country run by black women? Shit man, you don’t ever give black women that kind of power, unhuh, no way. Let me tell you…” which might have been the last thing he said.

A former professor from the Univ of Pennsylvania said that rewriting history is the stuff of autocrats and dictators. “What next, is the whole history of the West going to become a black woman project?” Clearly he deserved to be terminated.

When N’HiJole’ aXtu-Grynd heard about that bit of misinformation she replied, “Everybody knows Aristotle, Socrates and Plato were Sistaz.”

When asked what comes next for the 1787 project, N’HiJole’ aXtu-Grynd said, “I’m going to write poetry, and probably collect a Pulitzer and a Nobel, and buy my fourth house, in Montreal, teaching remotely for Harvard, Princeton, Penn, Yale, MIT and the Univ of North Carolina, fighting white privilege, white supremacy and racism, and doing unity and collaboration, diversity, inclusion, equity of course. And I will probably fix climate change once I become President and restore the Sistaz empire. It will be an honor to follow in the footsteps of Georgia Washington.”