Minnesota One-Party Blue Rule
A new flag for a proper 3rd world future for America! aka News you can afford to lose
Minnesota joined an illustrious line of one-party states - Venezuela, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Uganda, China, the Soviet Union - with a new state flag.
The old flag emblem was triggering for white people, a wild, free American Indian daring to ride his horse over a white man’s freshly plowed field.
The pink lady-slipper, orchid garland was also offensive to the globalist crowd, encouraging the people to appreciate nature rather than accept being driven off the land into city reservations.
The daring new flag is truly a symbol of the importance and inevitability of one-party rule, specifically, Democrat party rule. Democracy surely only needs a democratic party.
Experts agreed, the new flag is a star among flags, that Minnesotans are expected to be “extremely proud” of.
Expert #314-579 said “Governor Walz did such a wonderful job governing Minnesota through covid by executive, imperial dictate, it is clear Republicans are not necessary to govern the state.”
Governor Walz for his part agreed, “Martial law suited me. I’ve never felt so powerful, especially now that I have traded business suits for a more classic look.”
Republicans were given two token, non-voting positions on the Appointing Authority. There were five American Indians among the voting members, so the new flag can only be questioned by racists.
VOTING MEMBERS (NAME, APPOINTING AUTHORITY)
Dr. Kate Beane, Capitol Area Architectural and Planning Board (CAAPB)
Shelley Buck, Governor - General Member of the Public
Luis Fitch, Council on Latino Affairs
Anita Gaul, Governor - General Member of the Public
Michael Harralson, Governor - General Member of the Public
Kim Jackson, Council on Asian Pacific Minnesotans
Robert 'Deuce' Larsen, Minnesota Indian Affairs Council (MIAC) - Dakota Community
Denise Mazone, Council on Minnesotans of African Heritage
Lauren Bennett McGinty, Explore Minnesota Tourism
Philip McKenzie, Minnesota State Arts Board
Steve Simon, Minnesota Secretary of State
Kent Whitworth, Minnesota Historical Society
Aaron Wittnebel, Minnesota Indian Affairs Council (MIAC) - Ojibwe Community
NON-VOTING MEMBERS (NAME, APPOINTING AUTHORITY)
Senator Steve Drazkowski, Minnesota Senate - Member of the Minority
Rep. Mike Freiberg, Minnesota House of Representatives - Member of the Majority
Senator Mary Kunesh, Minnesota Senate - Member of the Majority
Rep. Bjorn Olson, Minnesota House of Representatives - Member of the Minority
Critics of the new flag suggested it is an example of how insular and lacking in self awareness Democrats have become, so very self assured in their supposed infallibility.
The new diverse blue imperial guard inspired by the new flag, disagreed.
American Indian Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan gave some time-honored native wisdom to assure Minnesotans they will appreciate this new flag:
“Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes are blue because the sky is blue because nature favors liberal progressives, obviously.”
“It really is a new age,” said expert #445-879, “We are very thankful for covid, for showing us the way. This flag is a true, right and just example of liberal, progressive democracy.”
“Really,” said expert #987-576, “America should adopt this flag. Minnesota is showing us the way. It is all about unity now.”
Special-Expert #445-980-35 added, “The CIA, FBI, NSA, DOJ, DHS, FDA, CDC, NIH, Military, Major Media, Google, Meta, Apple, Higher Education, Law Schools, the Biden Administration can’t be wrong, the future is one party, and that party is blue.”
“In fact,” said Extra Special Expert #134, “This is truly a model for the whole world. The UN, WHO, WEF, even the Chinese Communist Party, should adopt the one-star blue.”
Colorado: We've got the ugliest flag in the US!
Minnesota: Hold my beer.
Srsly, it's not even original. There are a couple of cities around here with similar municipal flags. It's like Memphis Art style for governments.
All you rabble-rousing, mealy-mouthed critics in the Comments who have the gall to want a flag that actually has any meaning, you are wrong. Because experts...