Q: Do You Believe In Climate Change?

A: No, I don't believe in technocratic, eugenicist, controlled population decline.

(Karen and Chad fix the planet)

(my apologies to any of my readers named Karen or Chad. This short little essay is not speaking to my readers as much as to/about climate fanatics who are not going to read it.)

It pains me to call bullshit on Climate Change!! As long as I can remember advocating for anything, I have advocated for taking better care of the land and waters. I have seen climate change, where I have lived most of my life, the weather was more predictable until sometime in the 00’s when things started getting weird, and you can’t anymore expect October to be like October, or March, March. It was the hottest and driest spring and summer in my life here, last year, and then we had some of the heaviest snow in living memory, and then we were saturated in the spring, and now it has been uncharacteristically dry again but mild. It is not so much hotter on average as off the rails, something like the weather has gone insane just like a great many people are, just as American society seems to be. It‘s uncanny.

(AKA bird killing machines, in a fanciful scene reminiscent of Christian redemption kitsch.)

So do I believe the climate is changing more radically than it would under normal circumstances not involving 7+ billion humans burning fossil fuels as fast as we are able? Yes, I do. Do I believe that necessitates a Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC) to facilitate the reduction of fossil energy, dictated by woke technocrats administered by woke social justice zealots cancelling access to the currency of anyone they disagree with? No, I categorically do not. Do I believe we are going to improve the health of the biosphere or increase species numbers and diversity, by ending the use of fossil fuels and mandating the use of renewables, easy peasy, while maintaining the consumer paradise we have evidently assumed is our right? If you believe that I have a WHD Digital Currency to sell you - all you have to do to participate is give me all your money.

Do you truly suppose, as someone who can name most of the plants and trees in a Midwestern landscape, who knows what many of those plants are useful for, for building, or edibility and medicinal qualities, who recognizes the irreducibly complex interplay between climate and living things, is going to be swayed in any meaningful way by the shrill, harping, unquestionable Climate Change!! denunciations emanating from ecological illiterates in media, academia and on social media?

I believe your Climate Change!! about as much as I believe your incessant Russia did it!! your White Supremacy!!, your Trans!! or your Covid!! In fact I would be willing to wager the contents of my WHDDC, that there is an inverse relationship between the zealousness of Climate Change!! and one’s ability to function in nature. I’m pretty sure if I took about 1000 people who fervently believe!! in Climate Change!!, and placed them individually in a wilderness with nothing but a knife and a rope, 997 would as likely collapse into a wailing ball of recursive baby, or stab or hang themselves to death out of interloper guilt, as survive even a week. (Maybe a few might gain something by it.)

Not that the average American would know how to survive in the wilderness alone for any amount of time. But then the average American isn’t using Climate Change!! to usurp control over the empire or perpetrate a coup (or embarrass themselves.)

Now don’t get me wrong, the climate is changing, such that desertification is most definitely happening in the western half of America, such that I fully expect a mass climate migration particularly from the southwest and arid states throughout the west, to the east and midwest, very likely in my lifetime. How much of that desertification is about the burning of fossil fuels? Some of it, for sure. But I think that is also a cyclical condition of the west half of the continent. Is that going to be remedied by wind turbines, solar panels, electric cars and mo’ batteries? I will refer you to that WHDDC again.

Climate Change!! isn’t about fixing the climate. It is about giving unprecedented power to central bankers and woke technocrats, to dictate how we live our lives. In fact, we are 7+ billion people on this planet, and we are going to burn every last bit of fossil fuels that we can access, whether we build a “renewable” economy or not. We are as many as we are BECAUSE of fossil fuels, and therefore, ANY arbitrary reduction in fossil fuel use will mean a lot more people dying, depopulation. Therefore, if you think a one-world government should take control and radically reduce fossil fuel use globally, then I’m going to say you are a nazi, a eugenicist, you want to kill people off, you want to depopulate the planet, you want to perpetrate genocide in the name of saving the planet.

At the very least, if all you are going to do in reference to taking care of the earth is scream Climate Change!! then I am going to assume you don’t really care about the health of the earth, you just want power over society you don’t feel like you have over yourself. Because that seems to me a lot of the root of a lot of the madness of late, people who don’t really excel at anything but rage and indignation, running roughshod over society, rather than stopping and figuring out solutions to the problem of the self.

Now, if you want to have an adult conversation about how to improve specie diversity, about what we can do to clean up the waters, how to end and fix the homogenizing effect invasive species (globohomo) have on ecosystems, soil loss, pharmaceutical and chemical pollution generally, what we can do to end the extermination of pollinators and increasingly birds, or freaking masks that don’t work for respiratory illnesses clogging up the earth, then let’s have that conversation. I think there is an immense amount of useful, meaningful work to be done that could be invigorating, rejuvenating for people, communities and the greater economy, that would be restorative for ecosystems and for specie diversity.

Let’s have that conversation.