Sacred Masculine

For the re-enchantment of the world...

That time I saw the Greenman in a forest in Oregon…

When I was a young man I was very confused about manhood. I never went through any sort of explicit initiation into manhood, as is common in indigenous cultures typically around the age of 13. Growing up in America, coming of age in the 80’s and 90’s, the media message was something like, a man is strong, silent, straight, capable and probably a doctor, lawyer, businessman, in the military or a professional athlete. This was not exactly a map, and most of the successful men I knew were not exactly models of manhood, or mentors of any kind. Like a lot of young men I became a man physically, but mentally I was still like a kid, mostly adrift in an insecure state of juvenile, not sure how to be and mostly feeling less than.

There was also the message that you graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, retire. But that was a message for women as well as men, and while something of a map, not very inspiring necessarily and certainly not getting at the spiritual aspect of being a man. ‘Find a church’ is not what I needed to hear. I could do that, and a lot of men do, without ever feeling like a “man”.

I wrote my first book (unpublished) around the question, “what does it mean to be a man?” Then, just when I started to get a sense of what it means (for me) to be a man, just when I had started to think of women in a more sacred way, suddenly all masculinity was toxic. Suddenly, by virtue of being biologically male I was inherently toxic, I had to fix that by emasculating myself, the culture seemed to be saying. For awhile I even thought that might be true, that somehow I had to become passive to the female active. But then after awhile, any time I heard about toxic masculinity as if all men are by virtue of being men, my basic response became fuck off.

I’m 49 now. If I am not a man, I suppose I never will be. When I read John Carter or Jay Rollins on Tonic Masculinity, I think I am a “good” man if a little isolated and yet inspired to be more active and better. That question still resonates for me, it is still important, if I really am the man I hoped to be then I can at least attempt to answer the question and be a model and mentor for younger men, “what does it mean to be a man?”

Well, first principle, a man is an adult, biological male. That means you can be straight, gay, trans/non-binary, or whatever, but an adult, biological male is a man. The counterpoint here is, a biological male can never be a woman, and vice versa. That is not hate speech, that is a fact.

A man can take care of himself, he is self-supporting. That does not mean he does not have others in his life, that does not mean he doesn’t need anyone else. It simply means he can be alone and he won’t collapse and fall apart, but rather thrive.

A man has skills. If you don’t have any skills (in something other than video games,) if you are functionally useless, then you are not much of a man. There really is no excuse. Get skilled.

A man takes risks. If you are risk averse you are never going to grow up. Character is built by taking risk and risking failure. Failure builds character at least as well as success, arguably better. That is good advice I suppose for women, but I think it is imperative for men to be men.

Sacred Masculinity is an archetype. It is not necessarily violent but it is capable of great violence. It is robust, active, powerful and direct. It is in polarity to the Sacred Feminine archetype, outside the self and within the self, opposite but necessary to nurturing, passive and intuitive. The fully realized man recognizes all of this in himself, but the masculine archetype is supreme (that is why the unrealized Trans claiming he is a woman steps into a women’s circle, takes over and bosses everyone around.) Obviously there are many shades of male but “butch” female or a gay man or trans does not negate the archetype, or it’s primacy in relation to male biology. Mars would not stop being Mars revolving around the sun 143 million miles out just because it decided it is Venus.

Granted, a lot of masculinity in America and the world is toxic, predatory and cruel. Masculinity for a long time has been associated with pillaging, plunder and war. It should not be surprising at all that many men not resonating with that compensate by emasculating themselves, passively allowing themselves to be emasculated or even celebrating that. Trans “women” are quite often toxic too, for the same reasons. But that is not a critique of the masculine archetype as much as a failure of the culture to celebrate the sacred (or even to have any idea what is sacred.)

A man recognizes when the culture is in a state of collapse from a collapse of all that is sacred, the point is not to collapse with the culture but to seek and embrace the sacred.

A man protects. A man protects himself and those and what he loves. He knows how to protect himself and those he cares about from all that would tear him and them down. A man is a firm foundation.

A man is silent, insofar as he does not wallow in emotion for emotion’s sake, pandering to it or feeling sorry for himself or self-congratulating in excess for self-inflation and/or show.

A man helps other men be their best self.

A man does not try to explain the sacred/divine/sublime feminine.

It is good to remember sacred masculine is an archetype. It is an ideal no man can be. It is a model for all men to follow, a kind of map, something to aspire to. The more a man is like the archetype the more secure in himself he is. The more he holds in his heart the sacred masculine, the more confident a man is.

The world needs more secure, confident men striving after the sacred masculine, helping other men be secure and confident. Women need men who are secure, confident, direct and powerful with appreciation for the sacred masculine and respect and empathy for the sacred feminine.

Men and women need to work together to re-enchant the world. I’ll have more to say about that in future posts.